Gay Marriage
Special Rights For some reason, gays believe they have rights and freedoms, marriage being one of them. What they fail to realize is that they can choose to be gay or not to be gay, which, when you think about it, is a choice of going to Heaven or of going to Hell. Any rational person would of course choose Heaven. This also goes for people born with disabilities or with higher IQ than most. Also people can choose to be a different race before they are born. It is much like creating a character on a massively multi player online game. We can choose to be any way we want to, Caucasian, African-American, African, Mexican, Spanish, Native American, Joowish. This means these people who choose to be homosexual, anything besides the white race, and male are either retarded or evil. Extra Special Rights With the help of the Velvet Mafia, the gays have actually been able to influence policy and shape laws concerning gay marriage in some states. Thankfully, these states are on the East Coast and when the gays in the military finally decide to attempt a revolt, we'll be able to easily cordon of the mainland of America from such bastions of homosinuality. These bastions will contain pictures of kittens and rooms for decorating. Due to the effective evilness of being clean, intelligent, and not mindless drones they will enter these bastions. Also, once all the gays and bisexuals leave the military that will leave only 10% who are actually straight. Thus leaving the USA effectively defenseless and vulnerable to the evils of the world. Extra Special Fabulous Rights Since gays are not allowed to marry it is said that straights shouldn't be allowed to divorce. But should this happen all straight marriages would cease to exist due to fear of marrying the wrong person and being stuck with them forever. Stephen's Take Stephen has put forth a course of action that will help to quiet the gay hordes, at least for the next couple of years. According to Stephen's plan, gay marriages will be pre-arranged and gay couples will be assigned a partner and a date to appear at a Unitarian church. These ceremonies will be called Rainbow weddings. But this would not work due to the fact that people can't be forced to love someone. Inevitable Fallout In 2008, the communist state of California decided to give gays the Special Right to marriage. Great Americans have been warning the danger America faces once gays get rights, such as marriage or gay drivers licenses. Listed below are the various abominations this misguided ruling has thrust in America's consciousness * neighbors with your box turtle * Mooseshttp://www.kare11.com/news/news_article.aspx?storyid=516614&catid=14 * gay cakes How Gay Weddings Hurt America's Economy * Damage to the economy Factoids *Stephen Colbert was named "Person of the Year" by Gay.com for his help towards the gay community and satiric view on anti-gay retarded people. He is loved by Gay republicans and respected for his straight lifestyle. * Stephen's home state of South Carolina has banned the unholiest of unholy abominable blasphemous sins, eating babies while watching TV. * Liberals think gay marriage in prison is ok. http://pageoneq.com/news/2008/California_prepares_for_gay_marriages__0829.html * God fearing Christian Science uncovers dark truth: Gay Marriage Leads To Straight Adultery! http://joemygod.blogspot.com/2009/05/gay-marriage-leads-to-straight-adultery.html Victims of Gay Marriage Gay marriage destroyed Senate Majority Leader Amy Koch for ruining the institution of marriage and causing her to stray from her husband and engage in an "inappropriate relationship." Shame on you, gay people. See Also * Gay Wedding * Massachusetts * New Jersey * The People's Republic of San Francisco *gaystapo External Tubes *The Homosexual Agenda and how it almost destroyed Ancient Christianity *Gay Marriage will legalize all sorts of sexual deviance... *The Big Gay Chip on My Shoulder *By Law Marriage must be spelled "Marraige" *Activist Judge demands Gay Marriage *Jenny Sanford: “Gay marriage wrecked my family” *Gay Marriage threatens Nation, again *Bill of Rights a threat to Heterosexual Marriage *Communism supports gay marriage! Gay Marriage will spread Communist disease!!! *Europe goes gayer *Even gay people think gay marriage is wrong! *New York mandates Gay Marriage! John Stewart kidnaps Colbert to gay marry him!!! *Canada: The Gay Marriage Aftermath. Six Years of Hell *New evidence that gay and communism are the same *Joos find solution to their gay problem